Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
