I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I want is dick and wine.
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