batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize