I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
