My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
