I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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