Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version

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(972): View more from Texas

They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.

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(210): View more from Texas

Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.

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(214): View more from Texas

dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy

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(713): View more from Texas

Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...

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(619): View more from California

His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!

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(620): View more from Kansas

He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.

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