are you so shy because you have an std?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
