he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
