No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
