OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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