This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
