There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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