I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
