I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
