we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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