ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
