After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Don't make out with my wife yet
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
