i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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