you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
