fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
