There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
