I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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