I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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