I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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