Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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