I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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