I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize