I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
