there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
