Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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