Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
