if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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