My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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