he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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