Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You're a waste of cheezeits
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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