i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
