My first STD was from a foam party
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
