i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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