new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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