My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
