forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
