Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
