you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sorry about my life...
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