A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
