Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
