I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
