Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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