Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
...so i touched it.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
