found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
