I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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