You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
