haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
