You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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