I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
