If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Are we still banned from the library?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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