I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
