Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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