But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I touched a dick in church today
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize