This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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