I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
