OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
