Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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